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Emotional Healing: Blame Vs. Accountability In Loss And Grief

first_imgBy Dr. Ted WiardEditors Note: This is an ongoing series by grief specialist Dr. Ted Wiard, dedicated to helping educate the community about emotional healing.A lot of focus has been on COVID-19 and the underlying issues within this pandemic and we will continue to give information to help people as this pandemic continues to cause loss within the world.Over the last few weeks there appears to be an increasing level of frustration as many of our reoccurring issues have a negative impact on the world, and there has not been any type of respite from the intensity of this pandemic. Underlying epidemics are becoming prominent, such as an increase in addiction relapse, higher levels of suicidal intent and suicide itself, domestic violence, child abuse, mental health instability, crime and the list goes on. In the midst of enormous pressures on each person’s emotional health, the discomfort of feeling little progress towards success, blame will usually come rolling in like a bulldozer, exasperating fear and separation. As emotional instability increases, a person will start to look for external sources to hold what is making the person feel emotionally uncomfortable. This is natural as the brain is seeking for the sources that are causing the discomfort.Blame is a difficult aspect of trying to establish internal homeostasis as there is a need to glean information from the past, search for accountability and then use that information in the present to build potential for the future. The difficulty is that blame has a tendency of leaving someone caught in the past, causing shame and guilt to others, as well as oneself. When this happens an individual and/or groups will start to increase wounds, cause less transparency, widen gaps in communication and other dysfunctional behaviors. The key for emotional health is to glean information from the past so that it can be more helpful in present decisions. The difficulty is as there is an increase in emotional dysregulation, there is also regression in emotional maturity and a higher demand for an external rescue, rather than an internal process of seeking what actions are available. As there is an external blame, there is an unconscious or conscious demand for an external rescue. A good example is the present pandemic and the many issues of blame from countries, vaccines, politics and lack of information. Each one of these “blames” may have truth, but it does not change the present situation. As a person decreases blame, gathers facts, and examines what can they do themselves, there can be a decrease in distress, and the person can start to reestablish emotional maturity and say to themselves, “What action can I take rather than demanding someone change it for me?” As the nervous system regains bits of autonomy, it can start to move out of hyperarousal and start to find a baseline for mature decision making, and transition from being agitated and frozen to a place of certain levels of action. The trick is to assess the outer world, gather the data and then decide what is healthy for positive actions to help move out of the demand for an external rescue and an interdependent action. This will help on a macro and micro world as each person takes responsibility with healthy behaviors, while supporting others while they do the same. The old saying, “You can look back, just don’t stare” is a great way to say glean wisdom from the past and now act from the present. I wish you well, and until the next time, take care.Golden Willow Retreat is a nonprofit organization focused on emotional healing and recovery from any type of loss. Direct any questions to Dr. Ted Wiard, EdD, LPCC, CGC, Founder of Golden Willow Retreat GWR@newmex.com or call at 575.776.2024.last_img read more

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Kids Run The Beach

first_imgScene from the Junior Lifesaving Tournament at Ponquogue Beach in Hampton Bays August 3. Independent/Desirée KeeganThe Junior Lifesaving Tournament took place at Ponquogue Beach in Hampton Bays Saturday, August 3. The program for 11-to-15-year-olds runs for five weeks at four different beaches in the eastern and western parts of Southampton Town and includes training drills designed to teach the junior guards to recognize the power of the ocean, how to spot riptides and other dangerous currents, and how to swim safely in the ocean. The first Southampton Town class of the Nipper Guard program — designed for 7-to-10-year-olds — also competed in the events, which included a distance swim and distance run, a rescue relay, and beach flags.desiree@indyeastend.com Sharelast_img

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LNG’s tight supply to continue

first_imgSubscribe Get instant access to must-read content today!To access hundreds of features, subscribe today! At a time when the world is forced to go digital more than ever before just to stay connected, discover the in-depth content our subscribers receive every month by subscribing to gasworld.Don’t just stay connected, stay at the forefront – join gasworld and become a subscriber to access all of our must-read content online from just $270.last_img

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Knudsen in at Toll as president of global forwarding

first_imgMr Knudsen is to oversee Toll’s Global Forwarding division, providing international air and ocean freight forwarding and supply chain management services.These include everything from complex supply chain services to port-to-port freight forwarding.With more than 25 years of experience in logistics, having held executive leadership roles in commercial, trade and route management around the world, Knudsen joins Toll from Damco where he was Asia Pacific regional ceo.In his new role, Mr Knudsen is to lead a team of more than 3,100 Toll team members across 26 countries, as well as a network of agents.Toll Group’s managing director, Michael Byrne, said Knudsen’s appointment comes at a critical time for the business.”Knudsen brings a proven track record in delivering results in a highly competitive industry,” said Byrne. “The strategy for our transformation of our global forwarding business is clearly defined and we are starting to see good results. Knudsen will accelerate the good progress that Toll is making to restore its global forwarding business back into sustainable growth.”www.tollgroup.comlast_img read more

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Trump blasts Congress over failure of GOP health care bill

first_img Cutting out the middleman could dramatically lower your prescription costs Recommended Trump blasts Congress over failure of GOP health care bill Lee Health CEO says care won’t suffer as system struggles financially SHAREcenter_img WASHINGTON (AP) President Donald Trump blasted congressional Democrats and “a few Republicans” Tuesday over the failure of the GOP effort to rewrite the Obama health care law, and warned, “we will return.”Trump’s early morning tweet unleashed a barrage of criticism at Congress over the collapse of the GOP’s flagship legislative priority. For seven years, the party has pledged to repeal President Barack Obama’s law.“Most Republicans were loyal, terrific & worked really hard,” Trump tweeted Tuesday morning, but said, “We were let down by all of the Democrats and a few Republicans.”He added, “As I have always said, let ObamaCare fail and then come together and do a great healthcare plan. Stay tuned!”Two GOP senators – Utah’s Mike Lee and Jerry Moran of Kansas – sealed the measure’s doom late Monday when they announced they would vote “no” in an initial, critical vote that had been expected as soon as next week. That meant that at least four of the 52 GOP senators were ready to block the measure – two more than Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., had to spare in the face of unanimous Democratic opposition.“Regretfully, it is now apparent that the effort to repeal and immediately replace the failure of Obamacare will not be successful,” McConnell said in a late evening statement that essentially waved a white flag.It was the second stinging setback on the issue in three weeks for McConnell, whose reputation as a legislative mastermind has been marred as he’s failed to unite his chamber’s Republicans behind a health overhaul package that’s highlighted jagged divides between conservatives and moderates. In late June, he abandoned an initial package after he lacked enough GOP support to pass.The episode has also been jarring for Trump, whose intermittent lobbying and nebulous, often contradictory descriptions of what he’s wanted have shown he has limited clout with senators. That despite a determination by Trump, McConnell and House Speaker Paul Ryan, R-Wis., to demonstrate that a GOP running the White House and Congress can govern effectively.Now, McConnell said, the Senate would vote on a measure the GOP-run Congress approved in 2015, only to be vetoed by Obama – a bill repealing much of Obama’s statute, with a two-year delay designed to give lawmakers time to enact a replacement. Trump embraced that idea last month after an initial version of McConnell’s bill collapsed due under Republican divisions, and did so again late Monday.“Republicans should just REPEAL failing ObamaCare now & work on a new Healthcare Plan that will start from a clean slate. Dems will join in!” Trump tweeted.But the prospects for approving a clean repeal bill followed by work on replacement legislation, even with Trump ready to sign it, seemed shaky. Trump and party leaders had started this year embracing that strategy, only to abandon it when it seemed incapable of passing Congress, with many Republicans worried it would cause insurance market and political chaos because of uncertainty that they would approve substitute legislation.McConnell’s failed bill would have left 22 million uninsured by 2026, according to the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office, a number that many Republicans found unpalatable. But the vetoed 2015 measure would be even worse, the budget office said last January, producing 32 million additional uninsured people by 2026 – figures that seemed likely to drive a stake into that bill’s prospects for passing Congress.That would seem to leave McConnell with an option he described last month – negotiating with Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y. That would likely be on a narrower package aimed more at keeping insurers in difficult marketplaces they’re either abandoning or imposing rapidly growing premiums.“The core of this bill is unworkable,” Schumer said in a statement. He said Republicans “should start from scratch and work with Democrats on a bill that lowers premiums, provides long-term stability to the markets and improves our health care system.”Similar to legislation the House approved in May after its own setbacks, McConnell’s bill would repeal Obama’s tax penalties on people who don’t buy coverage and cut the Medicaid program for the poor, elderly and nursing home residents. It rolled back many of the statute’s requirements for the policies insurers can sell and eliminated many tax increases that raised money for Obama’s expansion to 20 million more people, though it retained the law’s tax boosts on high earners.Besides Lee and Moran, two other GOP senators had previously declared their opposition to McConnell’s bill: moderate Maine Sen. Susan Collins and conservative Rand Paul of Kentucky. And other moderates were wavering and could have been difficult for McConnell and Trump to win over because of the bill’s Medicaid cuts: Alaska’s Lisa Murkowski, Cory Gardner of Colorado, Rob Portman of Ohio, Shelley Moore Capito of West Virginia and Dean Heller of Nevada, probably the most endangered Senate Republican in next year’s elections.The range of objections lodged by the dissident senators underscored the warring viewpoints within his own party that McConnell had to try patching over. Lee complained that the GOP bill didn’t go far enough in rolling back Obama’s robust coverage requirements, while moderates like Collins berated its Medicaid cuts and the millions it would leave without insurance.McConnell’s revised version aimed to satisfy both camps, by incorporating language by Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas allowing insurers to sell skimpy plans alongside more robust ones, and by adding tens of billions of dollars to treat opioid addiction and to defray consumer costs. His efforts did not achieve the intended result. Do you see a typo or an error? Let us know. Published: July 18, 2017 9:06 AM EDT last_img read more

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Consumers may sue traders before national courts

first_imgEuropean Union (EU) consumers may bring proceedings before the courts in their own member state against traders in other member states even if they had visited the trader to conclude the contract, the EU’s top court has ruled. The ruling takes into account a 2002 amendment to European contract law that removed the requirement for contracts to be concluded ‘at a distance’ if disputes are to be heard in the consumer’s own member state. The case before the Court of Justice of the European Union (CJEU) concerned an Austrian woman who, while in Austria, found a car advertised online by a German dealer. She travelled to Germany to complete the transaction, but later discovered that the car was defective. The dealer refused to repair the vehicle and so she brought proceedings in the Austrian courts, whose international jurisdiction the dealer disputed. The CJEU (pictured) dismissed the dealer’s argument, ruling that bringing proceedings before the courts of a consumer’s own member state was not subject to the condition that the contract was concluded at a distance. Read the full judgmentlast_img read more

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‘Stop the brain drain’: civil service union unveils justice manifesto

first_imgFresh from securing a 10% pay rise for Crown prosecutors, a trade union for senior civil servants has issued a call to the government to stop the criminal justice system becoming devalued.The FDA’s Manifesto for Justice, which will be unveiled at the Law Society today, demands: a properly resourced Crown Prosecution Service; no more legal aid cuts; investment in digital disclosure; and competitive pay and fees.Despite successfully negotiating a pay rise for prosecutors, FDA president Fiona Eadie said there was more work to do to ensure competitive payments to the prosecution and defence, and to combat the effects of years of underfunding. ‘This investment in the future is essential to stop a brain drain to other areas of law and ensure a properly functioning criminal justice system,’ she said.In a foreword to the manifesto, anonymous legal blogger The Secret Barrister says it is a ‘damning indictment of our times’ that those in power need to be reminded that a properly functioning criminal justice system is fundamental to the rule of law.The Secret Barrister says the manifesto is a vital document setting out the challenges the system faces, and identifying the decisions that must be taken ‘if we are to pull back from the brink’.Society president Christina Blacklaws said: ‘Criminal legal aid lawyers – solicitors and barristers – ensure that anyone accused of wrongdoing has a fair trial. A stable pipeline of defence lawyers, to safeguard the rights of the vulnerable and to protect the reputation of our legal system, is essential to ensure that justice is served. Yet, rates for criminal legal aid work are now so low, young lawyers no longer see a viable career in this specialism.’Richard Atkins QC, Bar Council chair, said the ‘crumbling’ court estate was an obvious example of fiscal neglect. ‘Leaking roofs, leaking lavatories, broken lifts and broken seats are but a few examples of the dire condition of the fabric of our court buildings. The problems with technology, Wi-Fi, the digital case system and CJSM secure email are partly the result of underfunding,’ he said.The manifesto document contains several startling statistics. CPS prosecutor numbers have fallen by 28% over the past decade. A 2018 FDA working hours survey shows that 79% of CPS members had worked while on sick leave. From May 2014 to January 2018, the overall number of practising solicitors rose by 7.8% but the proportion specialising in criminal work fell by 9.4%. Norfolk, Suffolk, Cornwall and Worcestershire currently have no practising criminal law solicitors under the age of 35. The number of barristers up to five years’ call is down by 30% over the past 10 years.Steven Littlewood, the union’s national officer, told the Gazette that the union wants to raise awareness of the severe challenges its members face ahead of the next spending review. The union has also set up a petition for members of the public to sign, to send to the chancellor.last_img read more

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High speed frenzy follows election

first_imgUSA: Not surprisingly, a request for expressions of interest to develop high speed rail corridors has attracted a considerable degree of attention, despite the country’s poor track record with privately-funded projects and the limited prospects for such schemes going ahead in the current economic climate.Legislation passed by Congress last October included a provision requiring the Federal Railroad Administration to open up high speed rail development to the private sector in 11 federally-designated corridors under a strict timetable. ‘Statements of interest’ were invited on December 15 (RG 2.09 p28), drawing responses from 80 organisations. These include architectural, engineering and construction firms, transport finance companies, consultants, rail service providers and rolling stock manufacturers, as well as state departments of transportation. Under the congressional timetable, final packages that include proposals for finance, construction, operation and maintenance must be submitted by September 2009. Two months later, FRA must establish commissions to consider those proposals deemed to be in the public interest. Membership of the commissions will include state governors, mayors, railway union officials, and representatives from Amtrak, the freight railways and local transit authorities. The commissions are to review and rank the proposals, forwarding their recommendations to FRA in February 2010. FRA in turn is expected to report back from April of that year, issuing a series of reports to Congress beginning with the Washington DC – New York corridor which is seen as the top priority.The Surface Transportation Board is to crack down on railways found responsible for delays to Amtrak trains. Under rules dating from the corporation’s establishment in 1971, the freight railroads were obliged to give passenger trains priority, but the requirement has been widely ignored and Amtrak’s long-distance trains are often chronically late. STB and its predecessors had been loath to intervene, but last October’s legislation, ?plus the Obama administration’s strong backing for inter-city rail, has put teeth on the old law. STB Chairman Charles Nottingham hopes to see Amtrak’s network-wide on-time performance raised to 80%, suggesting that STB will start to fine railways that are found to be negligent or uncooperative.last_img read more

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Loose bolts to blame for Brétigny derailment

first_imgFRANCE: On January 10 land transport accident investigation bureau BEA-TT published its interim report on the derailment which had taken place on July 12 2013 at Brétigny-sur-Orge. The last four cars of an SNCF Paris – Limoges inter-city service had left the track when entering the station from the north, killing seven people and injuring a further 32.BEA-TT says that the derailment was caused by a fishplate obstructing the flangeway of an oblique crossing forming part of a double slip. Under the weight of the train travelling at 137 km/h, the fishplate had pivoted around the first of four bolts meant to hold it in place, the three others having come loose. The most likely cause of the bolts coming loose, says BEA-TT, were stresses caused by cracking in the cast steel crossing. This had caused the head of the third bolt to break off and the others to fail, one becoming unscrewed and the heads of the other two also sheering off. BEA-TT makes three recommendations to SNCF which undertakes maintenance on behalf of infrastructure manager RFF. The first is that overall expertise in bolted track joints should be improved, including technical specifications and the quality of components, and that specifications for tightening bolts should be observed during installation and maintenance. Secondly, regulations specifying measures to be taken when defects are detected should be clarified and reinforced, setting out the maximum timescale allowed for repairs to be undertaken. The final recommendation says that switches and crossings requiring a higher level of maintenance or early renewal should be identified, and that such requirements are considered in ‘reliable and auditable’ manner when managing maintenance activities. In a joint statement, SNCF and RFF said that the recommendations of the report would be fully implemented, without waiting for the ongoing judicial investigation into the Brétigny accident to reach its conclusion. The recommendations would enable the safety of the railway system to be improved, they said.last_img read more

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Boko Haram has set new terms for the release of Chibok…

first_imgBoko Haram has set new terms for the release of some of the Chibok girls in its custody in Nigeria.The insurgents are demanding a ransom and a prisoner exchange of some Boko Haram members held in government jails.CCTV’s Kelechi Emekalam has the latest.last_img

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